In our discussion the subject of ordinances in the gospel and their importance came up. In my ward, we had just finished talking about this in Sunday School while discussing the missionary labors of Paul and why certain members in Ephesus were re-baptized even after they had previously received the baptism of John (see Acts 19:1-7).
The instructor brought up the scripture in D&C 84:20-21:
This scripture became the jumping off point for discussing how important it was to perform certain ordinances exactly correct. I remember being unsatisfied by that part of the class, like we really hadn't identified any truth out of these scriptures.20 Therefore, in the aordinances thereof, the power of bgodliness is manifest.
Perhaps I was sensitive because a friend of mine who does not share my faith had recently commented that he does not like "orthodoxy" in religion because it separates people and causes division. Often this division becomes the seed that is nurtured into hatred and killing usually by those who would gain power over others. This seems similar to the problem of dogmatic belief that Sam Harris saw and discussed in his book which he mis-labeled as "The End of Faith."
The nugget of truth that seemed to become clear as we spoke is that we often mentally substitute the word "ritual" for ordinance and in so doing focus only on the physical expression of what ultimately must be a spiritual act if it is to have any effect. D&C 132:7 makes this point rather clearly:
... All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, boaths, cvows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations, that are not made and entered into and dsealed by the Holy Spirit of promise ... are of no efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead; for all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end when men are dead.If we view the ordinance of baptism as merely making sure we are getting fully wet and don't pay the same amount of attention to the spiritual symbolism in the gesture of drowning our old life and being brought up again a new person by the arms of God, then the physical act will have "no effect" in the life to come.
Perhaps ignorance of the essential "sealing" portion of the ordinances is the essential part of what is meant by "unworthiness" which is warned against in Mormon 9:29
See that ye are not baptized aunworthily; see that ye partake not of the sacrament of Christ bunworthily; but see that ye do all things in cworthiness, and do it in the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God; and if ye do this, and endure to the end, ye will in nowise be cast out.With respect to partaking of the sacrament, Jesus is particularly clear in 3 Ne 18:29:
For whoso eateth and drinketh my flesh and ablood bunworthily eateth and drinketh damnation to his soul;As I pondered this statement, I felt a strong confirmation from the Holy Ghost that only participating in the ritual of the sacrament without the spiritual renewal that accompanies partaking with a sincere desire to repent stops the progress of sanctification which is supposed to be the ordinance of the sacrament.
A few weeks after the initial conversation, another brother shared a powerful insight that he had learned through the Spirit that the power of godliness is the power to lift others. This enlightened my understanding even further, because indeed the purpose of all of the ordinances is to lift us up to God so that we "may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is" (Moroni 7:48).
Thus, without the full ordinances (the complete "sealed" ordinances not just the physical rituals), the power of godliness (to lift us up to be like Him) would not be available to us in the flesh. We should celebrate as Saints, the corollary of that statement: through the full "sealed" ordinances, the power of godliness which can lift us back into His presence and which we can use to lift others is available to us today.
While I have focused on the importance of the "sealing," or spiritual portion of the ordinances, I do not wish to downplay the importance of rituals. It has personally taken me a long time to understand anything as to why we do them, but one of the books by Brother Snuffer taught me that without ritual to remind us of the spiritual connection, we would soon lose any purely mental connection to God in the demanding physicalness of every-day life.
In conclusion, to answer the question of why we are fastidious about performing certain ordinances correctly, I would say that detailed attention to the precise physical manifestation of the ordinance is symbolic and should remind us of the attention we should also be paying to ensuring that the ritual is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise --- thus completing the ordinance that will sanctify us and bring us back into the presence of God.